Motherhood

This is a very nice poem I got from the Internet. Not really sure who wrote but whoever you are, you have exactly the same sentiments as I am. Motherhood is the best thing that ever happened to me and up to this day, I still can’t believe that God gave me this cute little boy I can call my own.

Motherhood is a choice you make everyday,
To put someone else’s happiness and well-being
Ahead of your own,
To teach the hard lessons,
To do the right thing
Even when you’re not sure what the right thing is...
And to forgive yourself,
Over and over again,
For doing everything wrong

Before I die I want to...

Candy Chang: Before I die I want to...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uebxlIrosiM

Sharing this very timely video about life and death.

We had a colleague who just recently died of cancer at the age of 35. She is from a different division but we had business with her from time to time. She battled cancer for many years. The last treatment which hopes to cure it, had all her good friends and ABS-CBN employees come together to gather funds for the experimental treatment but to no avail. She will surely be missed.


I don't know Marion personally but the very few professional dealings I had with her
I find her so charming, decent and very positive about life.

When I was younger, I care less about death because I am only responsible for my own life.
But now that I am a mother, I feel strongly towards self-preservation more than anything else.

We all know that our time in this world is limited,
and that the only (constant) sure thing on earth aside from change is death;
and that soon all of us will end up done with life.
And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone dear to us or to someone we know.
But the thing is we cannot fight it and we cannot stop it,
what we can do is be ready when the time comes
and hope that we have lived a life we can be proud of
and that we have made a difference in the universe in our own little way
so that the ones we have left behind can move on with our inspiring spirit.

I am 35 years old now, same age as Marion.
Life is too short for someone who is so full of it.
But she had lived a full life and that's all that matters.

When something like this happens, you get affected and you get to think about the realness of death in your life.

Before I die, I want and I hope that my son is strong and responsible enough to be able to live a life he can be proud of.

Hanoi, Vietnam (Another Jurassic Post)

It’s hard not to fall in love with Hanoi, translated as the land between rivers, and the capital of Vietnam. A rustic beauty sprawled over the picturesque expanse of North Vietnam and bounded by several rivers, the region is one of the world’s best kept secrets I guess for now.

As an architectural delight, Hanoi boasts of French influences and intricate structures remnants of the occupation of France and local wonders such as the One-Pillar Pagoda, Perfume Pagoda, Tran Vu Temple and the ancient university of Quoc Tu Giam-Van Mieu. As a cultural haven, the Ba Dinh square has the mausoleum of Ho Chi Minh which still draws crowds by the hundreds and the Ba Dinh district is where the old citadel of Hanoi is located. As a historical landmark, the well-preserved ancient streets and olden buildings within their administrative district Hoan Kiem and around it still have deep marks of their storied past.

But aside from these powerful remembrance, Hanoi’s major pull is the idyllic laid-back lifestyle which includes old living quarters, schools and structures in the Dong Da, Tay Ho, Thanh Xuan and Cau Giay districts; the subdued landscape of their agricultural districts and the many lakes of countryside living that let you appreciate nature more plus the four seasons that Hanoi enjoys all throughout the year.

Flying There: Hanoi is visa-free as our country has bilateral agreements for visa exemption. There is now a direct flight from Manila to Hanoi via Cebu Pacific (www.cebupacificair.com) for as low as P7000+ roundtrip. Or you can also try the direct flights from Manila to Hanoi via out Singapore Airlines (www.singaporeair.com) USD 630+ depending on the season. It’s pricey but for those who want the luxury of big space, good food and wouldn’t mind paying more, it’s a good ride. Or you can book Ho Chi Minh via Cebu Pacific and get a domestic flight from there. Check out Vietnam Airlines and the low-cost Pacific Airlines.

Going Around: There are buses for longer travel, bicycle rickshaws for shorter trips and the easiest to take – the taxi cabs. Get the number of Hanoi Taxi or Taxi CP, you can call them anytime and let you pick up anywhere within the city. Operators speak English, the few people who can in Hanoi. Most of the taxi drivers negotiate the fare so be wary when taking a cab besides these two taxi lines.

Current Rate: Dong is the currency in Hanoi US1 = 16,000VND. But no worries if you haven’t exchanged your US dollars to their local unit, all business establishments accept US dollars.

Buying Stuff: Hanoi is also a shopping haven. The street between Hoan Kiem Lake and the Cathedral has shops with slightly lower prices than the tourist shopping destination of the Old Quarter. There are also smaller shops within the city, try the one bearing the name ‘Made in Vietnam’ and the Dong Xuan Market for the largest wholesale and retail center. It is also usual for a whole street or district in Hanoi to sell the same kind of products; shoes in one street and bicycle accessories in another street. Remember to bargain! There are only two major shopping malls in Hanoi, Trang Tien Plaza and the Vincom City Towers. Curfew is at 10pm and all businesses strictly follow it.

Food Tripping: Their food is one of the healthiest, common staple is vegetable, fruits and rice. Usually boiled or involved many ingredients. Try their pickled eggplant, papaya salad, spring rolls, banh hoi, thin rice vermicelli served cold with grilled marinated pork and fish sauce, the chicken noodle soup Pho Ga and the beef noodle soup Pho Bo. Because they were a French colony before, Vietnamese baguette or French bread with paté has become the workers’ fave ‘anytime food’. Interesting sight is that they huddle around street corners for their meals anytime of the day, chatting while eating in makeshift tables and chairs. For fruits, try their Longan, Mangosteen and Dragonfruit.

Visit Moka Café, Paris Deli for Italian meal, Somerset for pasta dishes and the contemporary Restaurant Bobby Chinn which is owned by the Travel & Living host with the same name. No Starbucks yet but they have local coffee shop called Highlands Coffee anywhere. For those who love McDo, sorry there is only one international fastfood chain in the whole of Hanoi -- KFC.

Visiting Sites: Hanoi is an all-season tourist destination. The famous Ha Long Bay, one of UNESCO’s world’s natural wonders for its universal aesthetic value has over 3,000 breathtaking islands set in pristine emerald green water. The bay has thousands of limestone karsts and isles in various sizes and shapes. Visit the surrounding caves, jungles and grotto. The two largest islands Cat Ba and Tuan Chau have permanent residents with hotels and facilities where you can stay overnight. Ha Long Bay is around 2-3 hours away from the city, so book the tour with your hotel as this will save time finding it or getting there. Also check with the local tourism authority for the legitimate fees, official tour guides and guidelines. Ha Long Bay along with our famous landmarks is also nominated as the World's 7 New Natural Wonder. Just a reminder, everything is expensive there so just bring your own water or junk foods. If you book a tour, usually the lunch is included but not the drinks.

Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum in Hanoi has the man himself entombed ala Marcos style. Talking is not allowed, showing sign of disrespect is apprehended, taking photos inside is prohibited and walking shorts or sleeveless top is a big no-no. I had to pay 100,000 dong for renting long pants so skip the skimpy and cover up.

Ho Chi Minh Museum and Vestige perfectly capture the days and nights in the life of Ho Chi Minh from 1954 until his death in 1969. The complex also includes two of Ho Chi Minh's houses, garage with Ho Chi Minh’s cars and a carp-filled pond.
Hundreds of historical, political and cultural sites surround Hanoi. Check out the Temple of Literature (founded in 1070 and the country's first university), the One Pillar Pagoda (charming old wooden temple on a single stone pillar), Museum of Ethnology (features the cultural and ritual practices of the Vietnamese ethnic groups), Hoan Kiem Lake (park in the center of town within short walking distance from the Old Quarter), the Downed Aircraft Memorial (a stone plaque commemorating the shooting down of a U.S. Navy aircraft in 1967 and where you can see the name of Republican bet John McCain as one of the listed officers) and the Hoa Lo Prison (also called as The Hanoi Hilton where captured Americans were imprisoned during the war). The Old Quarter is home to guesthouses and hostels for budget travelers. But if you’re traveling with a group or have extra moolah to spare, try their hotels instead for they offer really low prices. Around P2000+ per night per room including buffet breakfast for 3 pax). Check out Hanoi Pacific Hotel and Church Hotel.

Make sure you take a lot of pictures and socialize with the locals. It’s a fun experience. Though they speak little English, they are respectful and always have a ready smile for tourists. So when I say it’s hard not to fall in love with Hanoi, I mean it from the bottom of my heart and who wouldn’t. Visit Hanoi and fall in love now!

Photos courtesy of Marl Abejero

My attempt to write a short novel

On a windy balmy afternoon, I am starting my story. This as I sat alone in an al fresco restaurant sipping coffee, people watching and contemplating my future after a failed relationship again, a career that seems going nowhere, friends that are always rushing to leave somewhere, the rising cost of living and my recent bout with a disease that left me half dead, half living.

It was one of those days when I wished I was sick so I'll have a few days down to not think of anything but sleep and medicine and getting well. I saw the cars passing by with their passengers and their blank faces, some so sure of where they are going, others unknown of where to go. I saw the slightly stooping but proud mother carrying a sleeping child wishing that her baby will have a future brighter than her. I saw the attache case man blindly going to the next meeting probably to seal another million dollar deal for his boss but at the expense of another quality time not spent with his family. I saw the young couple holding hands not knowing that their parents are waiting for them back home to tell them that they have to break it off or they'll have to send them packing to separate boarding schools. I looked at the woman who was oblivious of the honking cars and devoid of chaos who will probably going home to a house bursting with an uncanny silence so deafening she'll probably try to bury her face under her pillow again. I gazed lovingly and somewhat enviously at the happy family with their dog in tow going to the park for their weekend stroll only to find out when they go home that their place had been ransacked and robbed. These are the ironies of life that if you're too weak or too coward to face will leave you catatonic or worst, dead.

It was with these thoughts racing on my mind and occupying my time that I didn't notice the homeless woman until she nudged me from behind and asked me for something to eat. As I turned my gaze to this unwelcome intrusion, I dropped the mug I was holding and it fell to the ground shattering the silence of my thoughts and making people turn their heads in my solitary presence. It was an uncomfortable situation for someone who was looking for a little peace and stillness from her chaotic life and equally chaotic thinking. But on that day, in that instant, I just picked up a fragment that broke off from the mug and landed on my feet and laughed like a madwoman. When the urge is too strong and the emotion is too intense, nothing and no one can ever stop you from doing the things that will leave you looking like a fool. And in that moment, I didn't care at all.

The homeless woman almost was about to flee for fear of being admonished by the restaurant people for causing the crash and in part for causing my mind to escape me for a moment. In one quick reflex, I had my hand softly in the homeless woman's arm letting her know that it's ok. She must have seen the pleading in my eyes that she cautiously stayed and sat down.

"How are you?", a crazy question you might say, crazier if you ask it to a homeless person with nothing and no one except the clothes on her back. I felt like an idiot for a second but when you have almost lost your senses, nothing is surprising anymore. I asked it as if the answer will be the most important wisdom in the world that I'll ever get. This I asked as if the answer will be the cure-all to all of the planet's problems and to mine as well. The homeless woman nervously shifted position and with the insides of his sleeves, rubbed the eye crusts that hugged her sight. I must have cringed at the sight of her doing that, that's why she had to slightly bow to cover her undoing.

"I'm ok", she answered without pretensions and with a slight twitch in her mouth. "I know you're thinking that I'm just a homeless woman with nothing in material wealth, who rummages through other people's trash to survive, who begs for other people's food to live, who hovers in other people's happiness hoping that their happiness and fortunes will rub on me and make me luckier. But I'm ok." she started to relax.

"I get by not the way you get by... but I get by all the same. I breathe. I live. I see the world and the people in a fashion divested of all things limiting. I am not restrained by the company that pays or by the boyfriend who claimed loves me or the image the governs choices. I am not prevented by the friends who influence or the money that rules the world or the time that controls the work and lifestyle. Nothing is confining me. Nobody is holding me back except perhaps the occasional rains or when I'm too feeble to walk because I don't get to eat the nutritious foods you can only get with a hefty price nowadays. I know without the one I mentioned, people see you as unimportant, as someone not worthy of any time, as someone better left ignored in this lifetime. And yes that would have been my reaction a long time ago when I met me like this in the street on my way to the office.

I choked but she continued. This time with zeal and passion.

You see I have been a top executive before. I almost own the company I work for because as they say, I am a genius. I have put them on the world map, doubled their profits, streamlined their people, cut down their operating costs, re-engineered their credo to make it more human and just when I thought I almost have it all, I made a mistake, stumbled and fell flat faced on the ground. It began when I made an untimely judgment call to skew the market to another segment and let go of the existing ones. I have been so confident that the industry and the prevailing call of the times will change in favor of my decision but it did not. I was wrong and the consequences were disastrous. I have a 5-year relationship with a guy in the same industry and when a woman in tough times call for tough support, I never got one, mine went away and change to a sturdier gal who needed no support at all. My friends came rushing to me not to comfort but to say their goodbyes and the family that I was hoping to cling on has a problem of their own that telling them mine would only make it worse. So left with no one and nothing, I brokedown. A few helped along the way but my own will and determination made me recover and here I am now, dirty and with nothing and I have never felt ok.

I was stunned. No words form in my mouth. I may have been too jaded with the world that I forgot to really look at people, the realness in them. The sin of generalizing took hold of me; when people are dirty, they're rubbish, when people are poor, they're insignificant, when they don't have anything to offer you, they're not much use of your time. This time, I took a good look at the person in front of me. She is perhaps in her 60s. The sun has put a strain on her brown skin but you can still see that she has seen better days. The hair is a little unkempt tied in a bun with some flowing through her eyes. She has a small eyes and a gentle stare , the kind I only see on mothers, my mother. When she smiles, her small eyes disappears but her whole face comes alive. She speaks slowly slurring some of the words so I had to move a little closer to hear her. She's a proud woman despite being deprived of what I have right now... everything material but nothing spiritual.

I ordered a meal and sat back as I offered it to my new friend. This is starting to get to my skin. I have always been too focused with everything that my company needs, with everything to make me feel needed : planning, organizing, staffing, managing, controlling people, places, things. I only have 2-hour sleep, I'm always on the go, on the phone, in a meeting, in a working breakfast, lunch and dinner, I am always talking to people, running after clients, organizing events, attending a premiere, planning a new campaign, writing scripts, preparing presentations, until my mind started wandering to faraway lands, to calming breeze and soft winds, until it loiters and lingers a little longer to a safer place where no one can harm me and everything works according to my command. That's when I had my breakdown and I can no longer be tasked to manage even to do simple chores like locking the door and turning off the lights. That's when I realized that some people have limits, physically and mentally and that if you don't acknowledge that, you're either superman/woman or a ghost.

Come to think of it, this homeless woman and me are bounded together by a common thread, we're both obsessed with getting what we want in so little time, in pleasing everyone and always asking to be needed and not leaving anything for thyself. It's as if the praises will make us better persons, the deals will make us a cut above the rest, the work will make us invisible from the hurt and the pain and the sickness and from the consequences of time not spent with the people we love. They say that when we get older, relationships will be much more important than your work. It always does. But in our time while going up the corporate ladder, we both forgot that until we're too worn down and too damaged to change the course of our life. It has become both our weakness to focus on satisfying our ambitions only to find out in the end that it never stops. One can never be fully satisfied. It goes on and on and higher and higher. What we have right now, what we own, whatever position we have reached, it just gives you the reason to want more, have more and reach higher at the expense of all that's truly important.

My new friend has long been gone both from the restaurant and in my life. She has finished her meal and moved on to tread the path she has carefully chosen. It may not be everybody's choice or people may not find it the wisest decision but it was a path that she has certainly thrived . She is probably talking to another lost soul, touching another life, changing another perspective, and like me, giving options to be like her or to be like no one. The chances of us meeting again is nil compared to the opportunity that she has opened for me in a slightly different way. Picking up the pieces like picking the broken mug will never be easy. Starting over for a woman who has been diagnosed with a nomadic mind will always be difficult. Making a new life and forgetting the past will require the greatest effort and the longest healing time. But it can happen. Time has given me the advantage. Destiny has given me the chance to change my path or to see what led to what. And to let this chance pass would be to let life pass you by without lessons learned.

My first time in Singapore (Another Jurassic Post)

My first trip to Singapore in 2005 was just an accident. I had been vacationing in Kuala Lumpur for several days already and the view is starting to become monotonous so I thought that a little side trip to this state wouldn't hurt and would enrich my scant information about how this small country from Southeast Asia who has gained independence from the British as part of Federation Malaysia in 1963 and became a totally separate nation two years after, reached their prominence in terms of economic growth in 20 years or so, ranked as one of the first-world countries and rose to be a model example of a country that has never lost its duty to its people in terms of lives improvement. An unprecedented feat only a strong leader can make it happen and sadly, our nation can only hope for.

I arrived Singapore a little past midnight via a 5-hour bus ride from Putrajaya KL and got a trip-back ticket at 5pm that day. So sleeping not allowed, I have about 16 hours to spend and a lot more experiences to save in my memory bank.

I started the usual tourist route which can be a little familiar when you have been to other countries; a little shopping in Esplanade, Suntec City, strolling along Orchard Road and visiting the many museums that dotted the city, letting out the child within in Sentosa. Unexpectedly by the third hour, the typical feelings were replaced with awe and a lot of memorable interactions. And by the time I was about leave, I can’t even bring myself to take that first step to the terminal that will bring me back to KL.

The first thing I noticed in Singapore is the cleanliness. You know it takes very little to make me happy and the zero-waste, smoke-less, odor-free environment is enough for me to jump for joy and scream hallelujah. Singapore takes to heart their law seriously on anti-littering and smoking and punishments are meted out appropriately. No one is above the law. And this kind of discipline from an economic tiger state has flowed into their economic evolution and success.

The second is safety. Rarely can you probably hear someone being mugged or robbed in this country. I have fear of taking out my phone in the streets back home but I didn't have any here. One of the things that people look for in a place to visit is its safety whether you're locals, expats or tourists. I find comfort in the fact that Singapore exercises tough laws and punishes those found accountable.

The mass transit system is one of the the most organized, weaving together all the major must stops in the city. The directions are simple and tourist friendly. Every stop opens to major malls, friendly walkways and pedestrian friendly streets connecting building to building so you'll never be off coursed, of course.

Singapore is also home to the most multicultural mixed of races so you might be lost in translation once in a while but you won't have a hard time asking for instructions in English. The culture and arts are alive and thriving because the country has never dropped it in their scope while they are building their city. The Esplanade has been a symbol of their active advocacy in the preservation of their culture and arts and the appreciation of others.

The worldwide fame of the Annual Singapore Sale has put them on the map as the ultimate shopping destination in Asia with all the top-of-the-line local and international brands vying first place in your heart, asking to take them with your hard-earned money. They also have the most efficient customer service that really works and that really takes good care of their customers beyond the usual.

And nothing beats their excellent cuisines; some extraordinary local fares, others a fusion of many influences. The food will make you forget that you're on a diet and still recovering from the recent allergy back home that left you dehydrated. Shame gluttony. The foods personify that Singapore will always leave a distinct taste in your palate; sweet, spicy, a little salty sometimes and everything nice.

But more than these, it's the people that will make you stay and return back. I have a lot of happy memories of Singapore from my first trip in 2005 which was less than a day and was accidental in nature but a fortunate one until the succeeding trips back in 2006 and last February this year. My 16-hour first stay in Singapore left me yearning for more and was one of the most fruitful and exhilarating trips of my life that's why I had to do it one more time and another time and whenever I go back, it never fails to amaze me every time.

That fateful little accident of 2005 was the start of my good relationship with a country that always spells happiness. Happiness because here I met different people of diverse cultures and got to swap stories of trips gone awry, anecdotes of funny and sometimes twisted sense of humor, accounts of breathtaking places and landmarks that left me changed, tales of mysterious discovery of amazing off-the-beaten tracks, chronicles of people and cultures with different means of self-expression and narratives of personal failures and triumphs. Happiness because I got to have a somewhat unofficial survey of social mores, satisfying indulgences and neat what-to-do revelations and found out that we may be of different colors but dig deeper and you may find yourselves alike in more ways than one. And true money can’t buy happiness and sometimes the desire of materials things can be a deterrent pill to enjoy life that's why whenever I visit Singapore, I try everything not just shopping, no stones left unturned. For indeed, it's the total cultural immersion; the interactions and relationships you have from the immigration officials as you enter the country's territory until that last person you will meet that really count.

I have always been grateful for that first trip decided in haste but ended up as a saving grace; that when I go back to my own life however chaotic or dull it may be, I have that 16 hours to go back to, to keep me sane, to take back my depleted energy and to keep that soul alive, that despite the not-so-good things that have happened and might happen in the future, despite some shattered goals and sometimes defeated spirits, I have found a beautiful friend in Singapore and because of that, I can face anything with a smile.

What can I say, I was tagged, marked and resigned to honor this wonderful place and this is my sweet revenge all in a day's work.

Just some quirks I find positively entertaining in Singapore:

Nobody minds what you wear. Be it the shorts short of all shorts or the long johns of longs, showing some cleavage or just some space in between your bosom or letting everyone know that peeking butt crack is cool. They really don’t mind and care as long you do it within the limits of decency. It's their form of self-expression and being considered as the Asia's creative hub; they have donned it even in the streets and public transports.

Locals have their own English they call Singlish. It's a language that you'll get used to though when you stay for at least a year but kind of hard when you just step off right from the airplane. They also put some -ya after every sentence that I once thought a guy from the store is waiting for answer when he had thrown a declarative sentence at me.

They don’t complete you. You don't have to complete your sentence with the prescribed articles, prepositions or the small words you put in between your words to connect as long as the basic words are there. They are not really much focused on grammar as long as you understand each other I guess.

The MRT and buses (despite being double-deck and aplenty) are always swelling with people even on holidays. We had the chance to be there on a Chinese New Year and though all the stores are close, there will always be great places to go to. And by that way, there's really not much to do during Chinese New Year and most of the people there have their long overdue vacay during that time.

They are big on brands. It's like you're shopping for that perfect LV bag or the comfortable Gucci shoes when you look at everyone, everywhere you go. Locals and expats here have been quite an avid wearer of branded clothes and are not afraid to let everyone know. Branded names are a local staple here so think twice when bringing fake stuff or wearing one or better yet, leave them at home.

Most don’t mind what you do in public and everyone respects your privacy. I once saw a couple French kissing at the MRT and nobody even dared look at them. I think I was the only one for about 1/60 of a sec. I apologize.

Sweets and local desserts are aplenty and it would always be like spinning the wheel of fortune whenever choosing the best dessert that will perfectly complement your breakfast, lunch, dinner etc .

I have always been fascinated by different cultures and Singaporeans have a charm and a sense of humor uniquely their own. I have, since 2005, loved the quirkiness of the place and the people and everything that have shaped and molded them and made them who they are today. I have always been enchanted by their discipline and strength and though I wouldn't be able to fully understand their culture, I have come to realize that I can always be a friend to them.