Almost 3 years ago, I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. He came, we saw and he conquered our lives and we are never the same. With his birth came the birth of a new mommy Joan and daddy Chris. It was my firstborn and in all things first, it is always the hardest, the toughest, the most memorable and the most overwhelming stage of my life. I had to balance what I know, what I read, what people say to me and what is the truth. It was never easy but I had all the support and understanding of the people around me who took care of me and gave me all the leeway to adjust to a new life.
Yes, it can be really overwhelming and confusing at times but you just have to stick it out and stand by your actions no matter what. It's a new thing for you and it may be tried and tested to others but still it's your life and he's your baby so you still have to decide because you still have to live with the consequences of your actions. Here are some pieces of advice I would like to share to would be moms to make your life a little easier. You do what you gotta do because you love your family. You and your hubby know what's best for your own family. No matter what other people will have to say, stand your ground. And always, there's no judgment. Remember that you are not alone in this journey and you can always ask for help.
1. It gets easier in time. You just get used to it. Different babies react differently. There are babies who sleep through the night, some don't. There are babies who never fuss around, some do things differently. Everyday is a new day, a new challenge but we adjust and we modify our ways and we get used to it. It's the norm of the new moms, we get better at adjusting and we survive.
2. You will lose it all instantly. Easier said than done. I had my son almost 3 years ago but I still have that unwanted fats around my belly. It takes time and hard work and patience and complete dedication in getting rid of that extra weight you put on. But it's not impossible and it's never too late to start whenever you're ready.
3. Sleeping is optional. Rest is mandatory especially for new moms. Now that our baby needs us more than ever, and they rely on us 24/7, we need all the rest we can get. This is the time we need our hubby to partner with us, take turns in sleeping and getting up, feeding and changing nappies. I believe this will eventually become routine. And then it will get better.
4. Sex will be better. Not on the first six months though. I had my son via vaginal delivery. On the last part of my labor, I had my epidural so I was awake all throughout the labour and delivery. I saw my son came out of my vagina. But before that, I had some help and it's called episiotomy also known as perineotomy. It means they need to cut up my vagina to widen the opening so that my son can go out into the world. But they stitched it up. So as I've said not on the first 6 months that it needed to heal. But after that, all is well again.
5. You will come out unscathed. Oh how I wish it is oh so true. Maybe for some really lucky moms. But not for the majority like you and me. I even bought the lotion Oprah said will do wonders to any belly. But the day after I used it, I had a major allergic reaction to it. And all hell breaks loose. I had the worst itch, red bumps and large patches of rash common to 1% of pregnant women. I tried using Olive oil but to no avail. There will still be that scar that will remind you of that little bundle of joy you now call your son.
6. Breast-feeding is the be-all and end-all of being a mom. And if you don't it's the end of the world. It's admirable for those new moms who can do that and those who advocate breast-feeding. It's really good for babies. There's a lot of nutrients and vitamins and essential stuff babies need that one can only get from mom's milk. But to some who really really tried or to some due to complications or sickness or allergy like what I had who tried but stopped or cannot continue, it's ok. It doesn't make you a better mom or less of a mom just because you breast-feed. It just doesn't give anyone the right to belittle others or impose on others what you have done to your child. It's just not right at all. Period.
7. You can always go back to the way it used to be. You can still hangout and drink with your friends all night long. You can travel with wanton disregard to your future. You can shop until you drop. Life will never be the same of course. The reason why your parents tell you to enjoy your single blessedness is because once you become a mom, you will have to modify your old ways and prioritize your family. It makes sense to say that your son will always follow your example. If you want them to follow your old ways and then feel free to do just that. There are pay offs of course and that is giving life to a God-fearing, responsible, respectful individual that is your son. Your real friends will definitely understand and they will support you on your new journey. If they are what they say, real!
8. Never will I do this again ever. Like that one time you had too much to drink and even forgot your name and swore never to do it again but come the next party, you are at it again. Having a baby is hard, you have to sacrifice some of the things you do while you are still single. Though I never feel that it's a sacrifice for me. I enjoy taking care of my son and I never regret my decision to have him in my life. I could tell you a hundred things why I like having a son and I could even tell you how much you will enjoy the feeling. But I've said, it is tough and different but I would definitely do it again and again and again.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Travel Post: Baguio on my Birthday
This year, I spent my 37th birthday in Baguio. Together with Johan, my parents and Johan's yaya Ate Lyda. It was the first time for Johan and my mom and the 2nd time of my dad after 44 years. He went there in 1970. Mister Santiago wasn't able to join us because of work. But it's all good. I missed him during our Baguio trip but thanks to technology, we were able to talk long and frequent during that time. It's been a while since I have been to Baguio. Last time I went there was before we got married. It's one of those long trips that made us get to know each other a little better. So on my birthday sans the Mister I came back with the little Mister in tow.
Victory Liner
We left at 4am at their terminal in Cubao via their regular aircon bus. One way costs P445. Better to reserve before your trip so you can choose your time and seat. They also accept credit cards. You can buy the return tickets in Baguio as soon as you arrive, just go to the 2nd floor to get the return tickets. The bus is on time. You have 2 stopover, one in Tarlac and the other one in Sison. You are given 15 minutes each stopover to use the comfort room, buy stuff or eat or stretch your muscle. Make sure you get the body number of the bus as there are many similar buses that park there. Strictly follow the 15-minute limit as consideration to other passengers. They have ample legroom and wider aisle. The bus is clean and the curtain surprisingly is clean also. Aircon is just right. I think buses now are more cautious with the recent accidents so I would like to assume that they maintain a certain speed limit to avoid accidents. We were never fast or the driver never reckless. It took us around 7 hrs to reach Baguio including the two 15-minute stopover.
Balai Bed & Breakfast Baguio
I wanted to have a feel of the real Baguio this time so I decided to book a house instead of a hotel. I discovered this bed & breakfast house on Trip Advisor. They are relatively new in the business. Only started last November 2013, the place is owned by the mother & daughter tandem of Rose and Tess. Rose is originally from Aklan while Tess just got her MBA from Scotland where her sister lives. It is a 4-storey house. First floor from the top is the receiving area where the sala, dining room and kitchen are located, the 2nd floor is where the Alba room and the owners' room are located. The 3rd floor is where another room for rent is located overlooking the garden. And the last floor is where a small storage room is located.
Located near Outlook Drive at the back of Baguio Townhouse, it's a short up and down the winding road walk to Outlook Drive where you can get a taxi or jeep. The personalized service of Rose and Tess made it more special. They cooked our breakfast which is included when you get the room and served them in the cutest plates and cups and saucers. As of now, they only have 2 rooms available for rent. The rooms are spacious enough for us. I particularly like the Alba room. The other room is located downstairs and big enough for 3 persons. The place is neat and clean with nifty crafts in every nook and cranny. Rose and Tess entertain their guests during breakfast and will even offer tea and biscuits during siesta. I particularly enjoy the cleanliness and orderliness of the place. You get the feeling of home away from home. We stayed there for 3 days and 2 nights. And all in all, we had a pleasant stay. I highly recommend the place if you need to get away from the busy city life and have that Baguio experience you will never forget.
My top 9 things to do and places to visit in Baguio:
1. Visit Camp John Hay
Considered as a major tourist attraction, it used to be a station for rest and recreation for personnel and families of the US Armed Forces in the Philippines. The American Residence is also inside the camp which is now used as the summer house of the US Ambassador to the Philippines. You can eat at The Filling Station, or dine at the Mile-Hi Center which also has outlet stores for big brands from the US. There are also many restaurants inside the new Baguio Ayala Technohub. You can also check out the famous Chocolate de Batirol and order their traditional tsokolate, bibingka and suman. You can also ride a horse or enjoy the cool breeze and have a picnic and spread your feast in one of the open spaces there. You can visit the Bell Ampitheater, Bell House and the Cemetery of Negativism. For the butterfly enthusiasts, they have Butterfly Garden and for those who love the thrill of adventure, they have the Tree Top Outdoor Adventure. You will never run out of things to do inside Camp John Hay either for free or at a very affordable price.
2. Eat well
Baguio is also a food haven. When in Baguio, as much as possible I try only the local restaurants. Those that is available only in Baguio. This just gives me a real Baguio experience and it makes my stay in Baguio unique. Try out local restaurants that use fresh ingredients and vegetables found in Baguio. Check out Pizza Volante (Baguio Ayala Technohub) and try their pizza and pasta and salad. The recently opened Ketchup Community (Outlook Drive in front of Wright Park) houses Canto, their special lomo ribs is the best, combine it with their Cascade salad. The tried and tested Oh My Gulay (Session Road) and order OMG Salad, Anak ng Putanesca, Chow chow pancit and Oh my gulay rice meal. Vizco's (Session Road) famous Strawberry Shortcake and Red Velvet Cake. Try their pasta and chicken meals as well. We have been to Cafe by the Ruins, O Mai Khan (which btw has a new location), and Rose Bowl. There are quite a number of only in Baguio restaurants so you will never run out of local choices. We weren't able to try this but you can check out Bliss Cafe for organic vegetarian meals (Hotel Elizabeth, Felipe corner Gibraltar Street), Star Cafe (along Session Road) considered as the oldest restaurant in Baguio, Iggy's Inn and Bonuan Seafood Restaurant (Southdrive Road), Cafe Sabel of Bencab's Museum (Asin Road), newly opened Sage (Military Cutoff Road), Mother's Garden (Upper Fairview Road, Quezon Hill Proper), Chef's Home (Outlook Drive), Happy Tummy (inside the Ketchup Community, infront of Wright Park) and Barneys Burger (near Starwood Hotel Kisad Road). Everything I mentioned is affordable and uniquely Baguio for now.
3. Ride the bike at Burnham Park
Burnham Park is at the heart of Baguio City named after the American architect and urban planner who laid the plans for the city. Burnham is also the place where people affected by the 1990 earthquake sought refuge. It has a man-made lake, picnic place, skating rink, a grand stand and football field, a children's park and an orchidarium. One of things we enjoy here is renting and riding a bike. They have all sorts of sizes and shapes and colours. My husband and my son enjoy biking so much that this is definitely our must stop. Make sure you do it late in the afternoon or perhaps early morning during summer to avoid the heat.
4. Climb the stairs to Lourdes Grotto
It was the first time for my mom and the second time for my dad. And their only wish is to visit the iconic Lourdes Grotto. Located on a high hill, you have to climb 252 steps to reach the image of Our Lady of Lourdes. You can light a candle available at the top of the stairs or you can buy it from the vendors downstairs. Pilgrims and devotees flock the grotto during Holy Week. It is something that my parents love to visit. They are both religious and devoted to the Virgin Mary.
5. Visit Tam-awan Village
The Tam-awan Village is located at Pinsao Proper. Getting there is easy if you will just ride the taxi but can also be reached via public transportation. There are jeeps plying the route. This is a model village of Ifugao houses in Baguio. The Foundation who built this wanted to show the people who haven't travelled to Cordillera region how the Ifugaos live then and now. They transported Ifugao huts and Kalinga houses and reconstructed and designed them in a traditional Cordillera Village. What is amazing in the structure is that it was built without nails or hardware but strong enough that it can last several generations. The houses are named after the areas where they come from. Visiting the place is an experience in itself. You can rent out the huts to have a total Kalinga/Ifugao experience. The village gives you a sneak peek of the Cordillera life. The climb is long and steep and slippery when wet so make sure to hold on tight and use sturdy slippers or shoes. When you get to the top, you will be rewarded with a cold breeze and the breathtaking view of Baguio and the nearby province. There are also local handicrafts and knick-knacks at the information center and a restaurant. You can also have a portrait of you and your family and friends. Sometimes they do cultural shows and exhibits. I recommend you visit it in the morning. It's worth a visit to appreciate the culture of one of the indigenous ethnic groups of the Philippines.
6. Walk up and down Session Road and cap it off with a visit to the Baguio Cathedral
Session Road is the main hub of the city of Baguio. You can find all sorts of stores and restaurants here. Passing here will give you an enormous rush as throngs of people from all walks of life will mingle and rub elbows with you literally. One of the busiest streets I have been through. For the fun of it, walk down or up Session road. Cap it off with a visit to the rose-colored Baguio Cathedral at the end of the road. One of the most photographed churches in Baguio, it was consecrated in 1936 and dedicated to Our Lady of Atonement.
7. Mines View Park
Undoubtedly one of the most if not the most popular park in Baguio. Extreme caution when walking up and down the stairs as the climb is too steep, the stairs too narrow and super slippery when wet. The observation deck will give you a sweeping view of Benguet and the mountain ranges. Try their corn and the squid when in Mines View Park. You can also rent a traditional Ifugao dress and have your picture taken wearing them. You can also have your picture taken while riding a stationary horse. You can also pose with huge dogs at the entrance for a fee of course. There are a lot of stores and canteens here. Don't forget to haggle so you can have your perfect souvenir at a bargain.
8. The Mansion and Wright Park
This is the official residence of the President of the Philippines when in Baguio. Perfect for picture-taking, they say that the main gate of the Mansion is a replica of the Buckingham Palace in London. Built in 1908, the Mansion has a mini museum of memorabilia and works of art collections by former Philippine presidents inside but which is not open to public. As this is still being used today whenever the President of the Philippines in in Baguio, strict security is maintained by a contingent of the Philippine marines. It is right across Wright Park.
While the Wright Park boasts of pine tress, park and an elogated "Pool of Pines". This is where you can ride a pony for a fee. Favorites among kids and kids-at-heart.
9. Shop til you drop at Maharlika Shopping Center and Baguio Public Market
And finally, never miss these places when in Baguio. Located right across the lower end of Session road, this is where you buy your souvenirs and pasalubongs at very reasonable prices. Just make sure you haggle before you buy anything. What we do is we compare prices first before we buy anything. Usually the prices at the opening/entrance are higher compared to those at the innermost parts of the market. You can buy cardigan, caps, strawberry, fresh produce like fruits and vegetables here. While the Maharlika Shopping Complex is where most of the dry goods are located like clothes, shoes, wood and metal carvings and native handicrafts. The basement is where the food court is located. As in many other markets, caution against pickpockets is advised. Be polite and respectful when haggling for the price.
So there you go, my Baguio must do and must places to visit. If you have time and money of course, spend it to contribute to local tourism. It gives our economy a boost, more Filipinos are getting employed and investments are growing and expanding. This is for me one way of helping our nation and enjoying as well.
Victory Liner
We left at 4am at their terminal in Cubao via their regular aircon bus. One way costs P445. Better to reserve before your trip so you can choose your time and seat. They also accept credit cards. You can buy the return tickets in Baguio as soon as you arrive, just go to the 2nd floor to get the return tickets. The bus is on time. You have 2 stopover, one in Tarlac and the other one in Sison. You are given 15 minutes each stopover to use the comfort room, buy stuff or eat or stretch your muscle. Make sure you get the body number of the bus as there are many similar buses that park there. Strictly follow the 15-minute limit as consideration to other passengers. They have ample legroom and wider aisle. The bus is clean and the curtain surprisingly is clean also. Aircon is just right. I think buses now are more cautious with the recent accidents so I would like to assume that they maintain a certain speed limit to avoid accidents. We were never fast or the driver never reckless. It took us around 7 hrs to reach Baguio including the two 15-minute stopover.
Balai Bed & Breakfast Baguio
I wanted to have a feel of the real Baguio this time so I decided to book a house instead of a hotel. I discovered this bed & breakfast house on Trip Advisor. They are relatively new in the business. Only started last November 2013, the place is owned by the mother & daughter tandem of Rose and Tess. Rose is originally from Aklan while Tess just got her MBA from Scotland where her sister lives. It is a 4-storey house. First floor from the top is the receiving area where the sala, dining room and kitchen are located, the 2nd floor is where the Alba room and the owners' room are located. The 3rd floor is where another room for rent is located overlooking the garden. And the last floor is where a small storage room is located.
Located near Outlook Drive at the back of Baguio Townhouse, it's a short up and down the winding road walk to Outlook Drive where you can get a taxi or jeep. The personalized service of Rose and Tess made it more special. They cooked our breakfast which is included when you get the room and served them in the cutest plates and cups and saucers. As of now, they only have 2 rooms available for rent. The rooms are spacious enough for us. I particularly like the Alba room. The other room is located downstairs and big enough for 3 persons. The place is neat and clean with nifty crafts in every nook and cranny. Rose and Tess entertain their guests during breakfast and will even offer tea and biscuits during siesta. I particularly enjoy the cleanliness and orderliness of the place. You get the feeling of home away from home. We stayed there for 3 days and 2 nights. And all in all, we had a pleasant stay. I highly recommend the place if you need to get away from the busy city life and have that Baguio experience you will never forget.
My top 9 things to do and places to visit in Baguio:
1. Visit Camp John Hay
Considered as a major tourist attraction, it used to be a station for rest and recreation for personnel and families of the US Armed Forces in the Philippines. The American Residence is also inside the camp which is now used as the summer house of the US Ambassador to the Philippines. You can eat at The Filling Station, or dine at the Mile-Hi Center which also has outlet stores for big brands from the US. There are also many restaurants inside the new Baguio Ayala Technohub. You can also check out the famous Chocolate de Batirol and order their traditional tsokolate, bibingka and suman. You can also ride a horse or enjoy the cool breeze and have a picnic and spread your feast in one of the open spaces there. You can visit the Bell Ampitheater, Bell House and the Cemetery of Negativism. For the butterfly enthusiasts, they have Butterfly Garden and for those who love the thrill of adventure, they have the Tree Top Outdoor Adventure. You will never run out of things to do inside Camp John Hay either for free or at a very affordable price.
2. Eat well
Baguio is also a food haven. When in Baguio, as much as possible I try only the local restaurants. Those that is available only in Baguio. This just gives me a real Baguio experience and it makes my stay in Baguio unique. Try out local restaurants that use fresh ingredients and vegetables found in Baguio. Check out Pizza Volante (Baguio Ayala Technohub) and try their pizza and pasta and salad. The recently opened Ketchup Community (Outlook Drive in front of Wright Park) houses Canto, their special lomo ribs is the best, combine it with their Cascade salad. The tried and tested Oh My Gulay (Session Road) and order OMG Salad, Anak ng Putanesca, Chow chow pancit and Oh my gulay rice meal. Vizco's (Session Road) famous Strawberry Shortcake and Red Velvet Cake. Try their pasta and chicken meals as well. We have been to Cafe by the Ruins, O Mai Khan (which btw has a new location), and Rose Bowl. There are quite a number of only in Baguio restaurants so you will never run out of local choices. We weren't able to try this but you can check out Bliss Cafe for organic vegetarian meals (Hotel Elizabeth, Felipe corner Gibraltar Street), Star Cafe (along Session Road) considered as the oldest restaurant in Baguio, Iggy's Inn and Bonuan Seafood Restaurant (Southdrive Road), Cafe Sabel of Bencab's Museum (Asin Road), newly opened Sage (Military Cutoff Road), Mother's Garden (Upper Fairview Road, Quezon Hill Proper), Chef's Home (Outlook Drive), Happy Tummy (inside the Ketchup Community, infront of Wright Park) and Barneys Burger (near Starwood Hotel Kisad Road). Everything I mentioned is affordable and uniquely Baguio for now.
3. Ride the bike at Burnham Park
Burnham Park is at the heart of Baguio City named after the American architect and urban planner who laid the plans for the city. Burnham is also the place where people affected by the 1990 earthquake sought refuge. It has a man-made lake, picnic place, skating rink, a grand stand and football field, a children's park and an orchidarium. One of things we enjoy here is renting and riding a bike. They have all sorts of sizes and shapes and colours. My husband and my son enjoy biking so much that this is definitely our must stop. Make sure you do it late in the afternoon or perhaps early morning during summer to avoid the heat.
4. Climb the stairs to Lourdes Grotto
It was the first time for my mom and the second time for my dad. And their only wish is to visit the iconic Lourdes Grotto. Located on a high hill, you have to climb 252 steps to reach the image of Our Lady of Lourdes. You can light a candle available at the top of the stairs or you can buy it from the vendors downstairs. Pilgrims and devotees flock the grotto during Holy Week. It is something that my parents love to visit. They are both religious and devoted to the Virgin Mary.
5. Visit Tam-awan Village
The Tam-awan Village is located at Pinsao Proper. Getting there is easy if you will just ride the taxi but can also be reached via public transportation. There are jeeps plying the route. This is a model village of Ifugao houses in Baguio. The Foundation who built this wanted to show the people who haven't travelled to Cordillera region how the Ifugaos live then and now. They transported Ifugao huts and Kalinga houses and reconstructed and designed them in a traditional Cordillera Village. What is amazing in the structure is that it was built without nails or hardware but strong enough that it can last several generations. The houses are named after the areas where they come from. Visiting the place is an experience in itself. You can rent out the huts to have a total Kalinga/Ifugao experience. The village gives you a sneak peek of the Cordillera life. The climb is long and steep and slippery when wet so make sure to hold on tight and use sturdy slippers or shoes. When you get to the top, you will be rewarded with a cold breeze and the breathtaking view of Baguio and the nearby province. There are also local handicrafts and knick-knacks at the information center and a restaurant. You can also have a portrait of you and your family and friends. Sometimes they do cultural shows and exhibits. I recommend you visit it in the morning. It's worth a visit to appreciate the culture of one of the indigenous ethnic groups of the Philippines.
6. Walk up and down Session Road and cap it off with a visit to the Baguio Cathedral
Session Road is the main hub of the city of Baguio. You can find all sorts of stores and restaurants here. Passing here will give you an enormous rush as throngs of people from all walks of life will mingle and rub elbows with you literally. One of the busiest streets I have been through. For the fun of it, walk down or up Session road. Cap it off with a visit to the rose-colored Baguio Cathedral at the end of the road. One of the most photographed churches in Baguio, it was consecrated in 1936 and dedicated to Our Lady of Atonement.
7. Mines View Park
Undoubtedly one of the most if not the most popular park in Baguio. Extreme caution when walking up and down the stairs as the climb is too steep, the stairs too narrow and super slippery when wet. The observation deck will give you a sweeping view of Benguet and the mountain ranges. Try their corn and the squid when in Mines View Park. You can also rent a traditional Ifugao dress and have your picture taken wearing them. You can also have your picture taken while riding a stationary horse. You can also pose with huge dogs at the entrance for a fee of course. There are a lot of stores and canteens here. Don't forget to haggle so you can have your perfect souvenir at a bargain.
8. The Mansion and Wright Park
This is the official residence of the President of the Philippines when in Baguio. Perfect for picture-taking, they say that the main gate of the Mansion is a replica of the Buckingham Palace in London. Built in 1908, the Mansion has a mini museum of memorabilia and works of art collections by former Philippine presidents inside but which is not open to public. As this is still being used today whenever the President of the Philippines in in Baguio, strict security is maintained by a contingent of the Philippine marines. It is right across Wright Park.
While the Wright Park boasts of pine tress, park and an elogated "Pool of Pines". This is where you can ride a pony for a fee. Favorites among kids and kids-at-heart.
9. Shop til you drop at Maharlika Shopping Center and Baguio Public Market
And finally, never miss these places when in Baguio. Located right across the lower end of Session road, this is where you buy your souvenirs and pasalubongs at very reasonable prices. Just make sure you haggle before you buy anything. What we do is we compare prices first before we buy anything. Usually the prices at the opening/entrance are higher compared to those at the innermost parts of the market. You can buy cardigan, caps, strawberry, fresh produce like fruits and vegetables here. While the Maharlika Shopping Complex is where most of the dry goods are located like clothes, shoes, wood and metal carvings and native handicrafts. The basement is where the food court is located. As in many other markets, caution against pickpockets is advised. Be polite and respectful when haggling for the price.
So there you go, my Baguio must do and must places to visit. If you have time and money of course, spend it to contribute to local tourism. It gives our economy a boost, more Filipinos are getting employed and investments are growing and expanding. This is for me one way of helping our nation and enjoying as well.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Time Together
I would like to believe that Chris and I have maintained a considerably healthy relationship. I mean we're not perfect, nobody is. We've had our differences and arguments and 'tampuhan' but in our 4 years together as husband and wife, it was pretty much great. Of course, there will always be a season of petty arguments like where to eat -- he asks me and I suggest but in the end he decides or vice versa. What to do or where to go for the weekend. I love traveling, he's half-traveler, half-homebody. I prefer going out even just to malls, he prefers to stay at home and watch TV. He prefers cuddling, I prefer to have some space when sleeping. I like to move a lot, he wants to just lounge and do nothing. He prefers cold places, I prefer beaches. He is traditional when it comes to disciplining our son, I am more like modern if there is such a thing. He loves to exercise, I am too lazy for that. There are also the issue of time. He usually starts early to prepare but I usually finish first that by the time he is finished, I am all sweaty and restless. I would like to believe that it's normal. That in every marriage, there usually are trials, challenges and differences, but at the end of the day, you both decide where your relationship will go. Move forward or leap backward.
To tell you the truth, we married late. I mean we got married when we were already in our early 30s. So I was thinking before, that two mature individuals should not have any problems dealing with each other right? What with the experience and the age and the wisdom. But boy I was so wrong. Regardless of how young or old you are, you pass into these stages with conviction. The intensity may vary but you still pass this tunnel along the way.
You may have experienced those times when you felt that he is not doing enough or you're not doing enough or he is taking you for granted or you are taking him for granted or things are so different now that you were married compared to those when you were still dating. Those things that do not bother you before now becomes a constant cause of irritation like not washing the dishes as soon as he's done eating, leaving the used clothes in the C.R, delaying everything you asked of him to do like throwing the trash or changing the bulb. These small things that used to be so small before are magnified now more than ever.
As I've said, there is no perfect marriage but if we look closely and pay attention to the small things that he does and that you do for each other, you will realize how blessed you still are. Let this be a reminder that no matter how hectic or busy life can be or how long and hard our problems seem to be, find the time to be together.
1. Saying "I love you" every time you call or part ways. This has been our practice even before we got married. We never let a simple phone call ends without saying those magic words. Even when texting or parting ways or even when we are disappointed with each other. It does not mean that you trivialize the disappointments or the arguments, it just means that despite the differences, you still love that person and that you care enough to patch things up. Not today but perhaps tomorrow.
2. Not letting a day pass without kissing. We kiss when we wake up, when he leaves for work or when we part ways to go to our respective offices. We kiss when we say good bye, we kiss when we see each other after a long day at the office. We kiss before we drive to go home. We kiss before we sleep. We kiss every opportunity we get. We kiss without fail. We don't let a day pass without kissing. Even without talking, it's a subtle way of saying that I am here, I care about you and everything will be ok as long as we are together.
3. Flirt with each other. This I say of course in moderation. He kisses me on the forehead or head when we are waiting in line or waiting for something or someone. We hold hands in public, we hug when we are too bored waiting for the line to move. We say sweet nothings or tease each other during long trips. We make it a point to touch, hold or hug. This makes everything bearable and it gives us reassurance that we are here for each other.
4. Eat, drink and laugh together. We both love to cook and eat as well. We experiment, we check out different restaurants and we make it a point to dine in together every week sometimes everyday. This gives us the opportunity to really talk or to pause for a while. We also like to critic the food and sometimes we rate them and try to recreate it. This is therapeutic for us as we both love doing these things. It softens a long and tiring and challenging day and it puts things in perspectives.
5. Fight fair, never bring up the past and never call each other names. There will come a time in your relationship that you will have that 'argument' where you can't understand each other and when everything you say just put you deeper into the situation. It just seems everything doesn't make sense and the argument just becomes too intense. It happens even to the best couples in the world I would like to assume. But what we try to do is we always keep in mind that this too shall pass so everything we say must never be hurtful as to compromise the relationship. There is always respect and mutual understanding that at the end of the argument, we are husband and wife who love each other and vowed to be together no matter what.
6. Travel together. We love traveling together. Every year and budget permits, we make it a point to travel to two local trips and one international trip. We set aside traveling time as a couple, together with extended families or together with our son. It gives us something to look forward to and it gives us time to share in the happiness of discovering new places and new things to see. Sometimes it also repairs some of our "tampuhan" moment because we talk about it in context and calmly and we evaluate our relationships differently. The bonding also becomes solid as we experience some of the things for the first time together.
7. Pray and sleep together. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you made it together. With God's guidance and provisions, you are well and all your loved ones are doing good. We usually ask our son to lead the prayer. Although he is just two years old, we have encouraged and taught him to pray to Papa J. Simple prayers of thanksgiving, praise and love that whatever comes our way, we will have the courage to face it, the strength to carry on and the faith to move forward. Praying together solidifies your bond as a family and sleeping together gives you the peace of mind to go on another day with hope. It makes sense also to pray for him even when you're mad or you're having the toughest argument.
To tell you the truth, we married late. I mean we got married when we were already in our early 30s. So I was thinking before, that two mature individuals should not have any problems dealing with each other right? What with the experience and the age and the wisdom. But boy I was so wrong. Regardless of how young or old you are, you pass into these stages with conviction. The intensity may vary but you still pass this tunnel along the way.
You may have experienced those times when you felt that he is not doing enough or you're not doing enough or he is taking you for granted or you are taking him for granted or things are so different now that you were married compared to those when you were still dating. Those things that do not bother you before now becomes a constant cause of irritation like not washing the dishes as soon as he's done eating, leaving the used clothes in the C.R, delaying everything you asked of him to do like throwing the trash or changing the bulb. These small things that used to be so small before are magnified now more than ever.
As I've said, there is no perfect marriage but if we look closely and pay attention to the small things that he does and that you do for each other, you will realize how blessed you still are. Let this be a reminder that no matter how hectic or busy life can be or how long and hard our problems seem to be, find the time to be together.
1. Saying "I love you" every time you call or part ways. This has been our practice even before we got married. We never let a simple phone call ends without saying those magic words. Even when texting or parting ways or even when we are disappointed with each other. It does not mean that you trivialize the disappointments or the arguments, it just means that despite the differences, you still love that person and that you care enough to patch things up. Not today but perhaps tomorrow.
2. Not letting a day pass without kissing. We kiss when we wake up, when he leaves for work or when we part ways to go to our respective offices. We kiss when we say good bye, we kiss when we see each other after a long day at the office. We kiss before we drive to go home. We kiss before we sleep. We kiss every opportunity we get. We kiss without fail. We don't let a day pass without kissing. Even without talking, it's a subtle way of saying that I am here, I care about you and everything will be ok as long as we are together.
3. Flirt with each other. This I say of course in moderation. He kisses me on the forehead or head when we are waiting in line or waiting for something or someone. We hold hands in public, we hug when we are too bored waiting for the line to move. We say sweet nothings or tease each other during long trips. We make it a point to touch, hold or hug. This makes everything bearable and it gives us reassurance that we are here for each other.
4. Eat, drink and laugh together. We both love to cook and eat as well. We experiment, we check out different restaurants and we make it a point to dine in together every week sometimes everyday. This gives us the opportunity to really talk or to pause for a while. We also like to critic the food and sometimes we rate them and try to recreate it. This is therapeutic for us as we both love doing these things. It softens a long and tiring and challenging day and it puts things in perspectives.
5. Fight fair, never bring up the past and never call each other names. There will come a time in your relationship that you will have that 'argument' where you can't understand each other and when everything you say just put you deeper into the situation. It just seems everything doesn't make sense and the argument just becomes too intense. It happens even to the best couples in the world I would like to assume. But what we try to do is we always keep in mind that this too shall pass so everything we say must never be hurtful as to compromise the relationship. There is always respect and mutual understanding that at the end of the argument, we are husband and wife who love each other and vowed to be together no matter what.
6. Travel together. We love traveling together. Every year and budget permits, we make it a point to travel to two local trips and one international trip. We set aside traveling time as a couple, together with extended families or together with our son. It gives us something to look forward to and it gives us time to share in the happiness of discovering new places and new things to see. Sometimes it also repairs some of our "tampuhan" moment because we talk about it in context and calmly and we evaluate our relationships differently. The bonding also becomes solid as we experience some of the things for the first time together.
7. Pray and sleep together. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you made it together. With God's guidance and provisions, you are well and all your loved ones are doing good. We usually ask our son to lead the prayer. Although he is just two years old, we have encouraged and taught him to pray to Papa J. Simple prayers of thanksgiving, praise and love that whatever comes our way, we will have the courage to face it, the strength to carry on and the faith to move forward. Praying together solidifies your bond as a family and sleeping together gives you the peace of mind to go on another day with hope. It makes sense also to pray for him even when you're mad or you're having the toughest argument.
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