Almost 3 years ago, I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. He came, we saw and he conquered our lives and we are never the same. With his birth came the birth of a new mommy Joan and daddy Chris. It was my firstborn and in all things first, it is always the hardest, the toughest, the most memorable and the most overwhelming stage of my life. I had to balance what I know, what I read, what people say to me and what is the truth. It was never easy but I had all the support and understanding of the people around me who took care of me and gave me all the leeway to adjust to a new life.
Yes, it can be really overwhelming and confusing at times but you just have to stick it out and stand by your actions no matter what. It's a new thing for you and it may be tried and tested to others but still it's your life and he's your baby so you still have to decide because you still have to live with the consequences of your actions. Here are some pieces of advice I would like to share to would be moms to make your life a little easier. You do what you gotta do because you love your family. You and your hubby know what's best for your own family. No matter what other people will have to say, stand your ground. And always, there's no judgment. Remember that you are not alone in this journey and you can always ask for help.
1. It gets easier in time. You just get used to it. Different babies react differently. There are babies who sleep through the night, some don't. There are babies who never fuss around, some do things differently. Everyday is a new day, a new challenge but we adjust and we modify our ways and we get used to it. It's the norm of the new moms, we get better at adjusting and we survive.
2. You will lose it all instantly. Easier said than done. I had my son almost 3 years ago but I still have that unwanted fats around my belly. It takes time and hard work and patience and complete dedication in getting rid of that extra weight you put on. But it's not impossible and it's never too late to start whenever you're ready.
3. Sleeping is optional. Rest is mandatory especially for new moms. Now that our baby needs us more than ever, and they rely on us 24/7, we need all the rest we can get. This is the time we need our hubby to partner with us, take turns in sleeping and getting up, feeding and changing nappies. I believe this will eventually become routine. And then it will get better.
4. Sex will be better. Not on the first six months though. I had my son via vaginal delivery. On the last part of my labor, I had my epidural so I was awake all throughout the labour and delivery. I saw my son came out of my vagina. But before that, I had some help and it's called episiotomy also known as perineotomy. It means they need to cut up my vagina to widen the opening so that my son can go out into the world. But they stitched it up. So as I've said not on the first 6 months that it needed to heal. But after that, all is well again.
5. You will come out unscathed. Oh how I wish it is oh so true. Maybe for some really lucky moms. But not for the majority like you and me. I even bought the lotion Oprah said will do wonders to any belly. But the day after I used it, I had a major allergic reaction to it. And all hell breaks loose. I had the worst itch, red bumps and large patches of rash common to 1% of pregnant women. I tried using Olive oil but to no avail. There will still be that scar that will remind you of that little bundle of joy you now call your son.
6. Breast-feeding is the be-all and end-all of being a mom. And if you don't it's the end of the world. It's admirable for those new moms who can do that and those who advocate breast-feeding. It's really good for babies. There's a lot of nutrients and vitamins and essential stuff babies need that one can only get from mom's milk. But to some who really really tried or to some due to complications or sickness or allergy like what I had who tried but stopped or cannot continue, it's ok. It doesn't make you a better mom or less of a mom just because you breast-feed. It just doesn't give anyone the right to belittle others or impose on others what you have done to your child. It's just not right at all. Period.
7. You can always go back to the way it used to be. You can still hangout and drink with your friends all night long. You can travel with wanton disregard to your future. You can shop until you drop. Life will never be the same of course. The reason why your parents tell you to enjoy your single blessedness is because once you become a mom, you will have to modify your old ways and prioritize your family. It makes sense to say that your son will always follow your example. If you want them to follow your old ways and then feel free to do just that. There are pay offs of course and that is giving life to a God-fearing, responsible, respectful individual that is your son. Your real friends will definitely understand and they will support you on your new journey. If they are what they say, real!
8. Never will I do this again ever. Like that one time you had too much to drink and even forgot your name and swore never to do it again but come the next party, you are at it again. Having a baby is hard, you have to sacrifice some of the things you do while you are still single. Though I never feel that it's a sacrifice for me. I enjoy taking care of my son and I never regret my decision to have him in my life. I could tell you a hundred things why I like having a son and I could even tell you how much you will enjoy the feeling. But I've said, it is tough and different but I would definitely do it again and again and again.
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